Whether you’re a parent of a son or daughter struggling with opioid addiction or a spouse witnessing a loved one spiral due to frequent binge drinking, addiction is always a deeply personal issue. You might unknowingly be enabling their addiction, despite your best intentions.
Communicating with someone battling substance use can be incredibly challenging. Our words and actions can sometimes send the wrong message, unintentionally encouraging their harmful behavior when what we truly want is for them to seek help at an inpatient drug rehab facility. To better understand your role, here are six signs that may indicate you’re inadvertently supporting an addict’s behavior.
Behaviors That May Be Enabling
1. Rationalizing Bad Behavior
Do you often make excuses for your loved one when they neglect their responsibilities or avoid facing the negative consequences of their actions? For example, do you say things like, “He wouldn’t have lost his job if his boss wasn’t so difficult,” or “She only drinks that much when she’s really stressed”?
If you frequently shift the blame onto others or downplay your loved one’s substance use, you may be minimizing the severity of their addiction and justifying risky or unhealthy behaviors.
2. Turning a Blind Eye
Do you observe your loved one engaging in drug use, illegal activities, or out-of-character behaviors but choose not to address them? Do you often accept their excuses, even when your instincts suggest otherwise?
You might be ignoring the reality of your addiction because it’s easier to pretend the problem doesn’t exist. The truth is, that acknowledging that someone you care about is struggling with addiction can be painful, as it forces you to confront the issue and consider how to respond.
3. Keeping Quiet
Do you keep your concerns about your loved one’s drinking or drug use to yourself because you’re afraid they might get angry or leave if you confront them? Perhaps they’ve even threatened to leave if you label them as an “addict.”
When you start to suppress your own thoughts and feelings, you’re undermining your self-worth, which is unhealthy in any relationship. If you’re holding back out of fear of criticism or abandonment, you may be enabling their substance use by not speaking up.
4. Playing the Caregiver
Are you taking on the role of a parent, looking after your loved one’s basic needs, whether it’s providing food, and toiletries, or even cleaning up after them? Does your addicted family member rely on you to take care of these responsibilities?
While you know your loved one is capable of being a responsible adult, stepping into the caregiver role because they are too hungover, intoxicated, or exhausted to care for themselves isn’t helping. By consistently “being there,” you may be enabling their habit rather than truly supporting them.
5. Neglecting Yourself
Do you consistently put your loved one’s needs ahead of your own, to the point where you realize it’s late afternoon and you haven’t even changed out of your pajamas because you’ve been so focused on caring for them?
It’s easy to lose sight of your own well-being when you’re constantly dealing with someone else’s substance abuse. This neglect can leave you feeling exhausted, anxious, and depressed, as you’re always defending and managing your life. By the end of the day, there’s often no time left for your own needs and happiness.
Next Steps
If you recognize any of these signs in yourself, you might be enabling an addict. To learn how to stop supporting their addiction and start fostering positive change, read our related articles on our website.
Addiction can ravage both the body and spirit. Sunrise Recovery offers a path to healing for those struggling with chemical dependency. Our dedicated team of clinicians, nurses, and medical professionals is committed to providing lasting solutions for your loved one’s addiction.
Contact us today to speak with one of our compassionate admissions consultants about our comprehensive treatment program and take the first step toward breaking the cycle of enabling.
